Yes, I know, I’m saying “Hello” to 2018 like we’re meeting for the first time and we’re a good 36 days or so into the year. But the way my January was set up, I’m calling it a trial. It was a very difficult month for me. Pretty much all areas of my life felt like they were turned upside down. This was not the “new” I had in mind.
Like any other new thing, a new year gives me a motivation boost. When things are new, I have everything laid out and I know exactly how I plan to execute. Leading up to the New Year, I set my intentions on 2018 being my best year yet — I planned, prayed, meditated, journaled and did pretty much everything I could to start my year as the most positive, productive and purposeful person I had been to date. All of my I’s are dotted,T’s crossed and I feel like I’m ready for whatever. That was until I woke up on January 1st and it was just like any other day…any other bad day.
Bad days, weeks, months are a part of life, which is why it’s important to understand what you need to navigate those times. The first thing I came to realize is, nothing I was going through or feeling was permanent; meaning, it can and will change. The next thing I did was acknowledge my own emotions and wrote them down. During these times it was very important for me to listen to myself and give me what I needed. If I needed to cry, cry. If I needed to sleep, sleep. If I needed to vent, vent. Whatever it was, I allowed myself that release. Once I did that, I was able to consciously start having better, more productive days. At the end of the day, I realized that putting on the “strong, unbothered face” is like putting a bandaid on a broken bone — it will never heal properly.
Now that my January free trial is officially over, I can say that February is off to a better start. Not that complicated, annoying, scary ish isn’t happening, but giving myself the opportunity to process my emotions made me feel better equipped to handle it and myself properly.